If I were to ask you what you
were thinking about your life right now I bet you might say “Well, I want to
get a raise at my job” or “I’d like to move out in a year” or “We’re planning
to have children soon”. It often seems that our minds focus on the next best
thing, the next step in our journey and we focus too much on a timeline of
what’s next. We all like to think that doing something else or being a part of
a different church, having children, moving away to college, or making a job
change will be so much better or provide more opportunities than what we have
in our present positions. I’ve come to the realization that sometimes the grass isn’t always greener on
the other side as we so often believe.
//
This past month I was preparing
myself and my belongings to make a 9 hour road trip down south. I was moving
away for college. This was an adventure! I had always wanted to explore the
world and I definitely have a passion for traveling. So, this move was something I looked forward to, something I thought that was meant to come next in my journey
because what better and more convenient time was there to see new parts of the
world than going off to college? For the past year I watched fellow classmates
make big transitions to new parts of the country or to new, exciting employment
opportunities. I desired that so much; to say that I was living somewhere
awesome and new; pursuing a career and a new life of my own.
During this transition, God
revealed that the grass may seem greener on the other side but by trying to
make this work out for myself at the new school in North Carolina it was
tearing me a part. I was trying to force it and conform to ways that were not
necessarily designed for me at this time. He asked me, “What’s more important
right now? I gave you a choice because I will be with you wherever you go, but
now you made a decision to go. Do you see
that your thoughts are not always what they seem? Do you see that your mind can
paint an elaborate picture of what could be rather than letting me paint the
picture of what is now? Beloved, come back to me and I will teach you that
the grass is not always greener and that I will direct your path to all the
best pastures; the places that I had you at in Ohio”.
//
Wow, what a humbling experience. My
selfish ambitions took control of an opportunity and lead me to something that
was not meant for me at this time. God’s design for us in not to follow a
certain step-by-step guideline especially a guideline of what the world thinks
is correct. He designed us for relationship with Him and with others. His
design for us is to live out His will wherever He plants us and not follow the
ways of this world. Recognizing this I
saw how my selfish ambitions of wanting to travel, pursue a new life, and
be self-sustaining were distorting my
view of what was right in front of me; family, friends, community, home
church, and so many more blessings. Focusing
on the next best thing can be great but running away with those thoughts
without submitting them to God’s design is treacherous.
God knew all along as He always
does. He waited patiently for me to return to His will and leave my ambitions,
desires, and wants behind. As I relinquished and surrendered my path to His
hands I saw His blessings. My purpose for going to graduate school was to
pursue a career God had led me to a little over a year ago; school counseling.
Going to school in North Carolina I was chasing after more than that. I was
trying to make my future secure by searching for a school that had a dual
degree program: school counseling and clinical counseling) so that I could be
more marketable. This was the start of my self-sustaining ambitions. I wasn’t
trusting that God had my best interests in mind and would secure my path with
just one degree. I wanted to make sure I had things in place just in case.
Needless to say, my journey was
not what I expected. As embarrassing as it sometimes feels to mention, I’m
moving back home. I truly thought being away from everything I’ve ever known
would be great. I’d adjust after a couple days and eventually get in the swing
of things. But I recognized that I may have wanted this so called “greener
grass” as many of my classmates have pursued more than I wanted to see that the
grass I had already been standing on was just as green if not greener.
//
As I surrendered, God graciously
received me and blessed me even more than I could have imagined. Next week
starts the beginning of the career God called me to. My position in a school
counseling program at a local college was still available for my taking! What?
That doesn’t happen! It was as if He said “She’ll be back. Just wait for her to
realize the truth and she’ll return to my loving embrace and I will show her my
ways are greener”. I took the opportunity as a blessing and was able to sign up
for classes so late in the game. God is so patient; so gracious; so merciful. Keeping God first needs to be a priority
we seek after daily, moment by moment because our human tendency will
overshadow much of what His still, small voice reveals.
I know I’ve mentioned this
before; living for what’s next is not how God designed it. His grace and
mercies are sufficient for today. He gives us want we need for the moment and
by faith in Him we can rest assured that He will always provide for our needs
in the future. We won’t see clearly until we let go of our wants and desires to
seek after the Lord. Don’t let your worldly pursuits overshadow your spiritual
values. Look at the grass you’re standing on before you jump to the other side
of the mountain. You just might find
yourself in the exact place that God desires for you.
PS: Thank you to everyone who has
been cheering me on during this transition. Thank you for your constant
encouragement and prayers. You mean so much to me and I’m so grateful for all
of you. God was working through you as He directed me back home. Thank you for
your continued support and for giving me grace as well for making a mistake. You
rock!
Peace & <3,
Samantha