You know those dark feelings? The feeling of emptiness, no direction or purpose? Those feelings of doubt, fear, and distance? Lately, I've known each one of those all too well. As an "about to be" recent college graduate I thought everything was supposed to be different than it is right now. Like everyone else, I'm supposed to go to graduate school right out of undergrad and further my career. You can guess what I'm about to say next...This is not what's happening. I did not get into a program this year (I'm still on a waiting list with hundreds of other people).
I surely thought this was a complete mistake. I must have done something wrong for this to happen to me. I mean, I was a fairly eligible candidate given my top performance and credentials. Even though, I'm still recovering from the valley of emotions I have a new perspective.
God doesn't see our situations the same way that we do. Isaiah 55:8-9 says, "For My thoughts are not your thoughts, Nor are your ways My ways," says the LORD. For as the heavens are higher than the earth, So are My ways higher than your ways, And My thoughts than your thoughts.". When I see a valley of failure, He sees a valley of growth.
Many times we perceive things happening TO us. But God sees it as happening FOR us. Philippians 1:12 "...the things which happened to me have actually turned out for the furtherance of the gospel...".
Anything we go through, Jesus already understands. He knows the pain, frustration and utter failure we experience. Hebrews 4:15 "For we do not have a High Priest who cannot sympathize with our weaknesses, but was in all points tempted as we are, yet without sin.".
Even as a longtime follower of Christ, I will forget that my life is not suppose to be in congruence with everyone else's. God has a plan just as Jeremiah 29:11 says. He has a plan specifically designed for each one of His children and often times that plan doesn't follow the grain of wood.
The typical path...high school, college, graduate school, career, family, and retirement may not necessarily be the plan He has crafted for me right now or at least not necessarily in the order. Obviously, God sees something different than my small window view reveals. Because, yes, right now I see failure and embarrassment. But, He sees growth and exciting adventures ahead.
So, let me leave you with this. Your path right now is not a mistake. Those dark emotions eating at you will subside. God does not leave His works unfinished. Philippians 1:6 "...being confident of this very thing, that He who has begun a good work in you will complete it until the day of Christ Jesus.". Don't give up. Don't let go. It's tough, I know. But the Creator has you in His hands. Go to Him. Don't let the world determine your path. He is there for you. He has a plan. So, fight for your life day after day because eventually something will "click" and you'll understand the reason why you were in the valley. Then, God will be overjoyed for your faith in Him; your fight for something more. I can see it now, His smiling face. Keep going. You've got this.
Psalm 23:4 "Yea, though I walk through the valley of the shadow of death, I will fear no evil; For You are with me...".
Psalm 27:14 "Wait on the LORD; Be of good courage, And He shall strengthen your heart; Wait, I say, on the LORD!".
Peace & <3,
Samantha
Peace & <3,
Samantha